When I had a sobering drink at night, quite to the extent that I could see twins of everything, and yet rose in the morning like I’d consumed an invigorating potion, with double the vim that I show on a weekday morning at work, I knew I was in love with it.

This creature is known to have the might of encapsulating its beholder’s focus into a very small area on and around its eyes, which it effectively uses to spin the doting individual around the little toe of its cushy paw. For, prior to its ‘sighting’, its earnest pursuers are reported to lose several hundred hours of shuteye thinking about its hypnotic gaze, its almost erogenous gait, its entrancing presence and other suchlike magnetic qualities, which, upon actualization, exact another dose of toll on the victim, throwing their thinking patterns out of gear, derailing their attention spans on things less beautiful, and slipping them into profound nostalgia for several weeks.

But this exceptional animal, with a heart as big as a small town, an intelligence of a savant, the wisdom of a spiritual guru and the patience of a saint, is also known to give the human admirer fits of joy, excitement and everlasting memories of immense to extreme intensity, and with one glimpse of its blessed soul, stands able to change his life forever. Even in the face of adversity it shines, in the midst of an ugly assault on its kin it stands tall with grace, and when two of its kind get together in a moment of glory and unsurpassed beauty, even in the face of their untold damage, molestation and loss, they bless their own assailant with twin-wins.